Chuck Norris Vs. Bruce Lee

Chuck Norris, in his ultimate compassion allowed for himself to be defeated on screen in Return of the Dragon by none other than Bruce Lee. Now, all these years later, Norris wants to set things right and see who would win in a real battle.

Norris travelled to a mysterious shaman hidden deep within the Himalayan Mountains, and fought many predators to gain passage. Norris trained with the Shaman for three years before earning the elixer of life. When he left the Himalayans, Chuck opted to swim the ocean back to the US, aiming straight for Lee`s gravesite in Seattle. Back on US soil, Norris went straight to the grave snd dug Lee up with his bare hands. Once exhumed, Chuck dumped the elixer onto the body, and at once, Bruce Lee began to rejuvinate.

Over the next four months, Norris tended to Lee as he recovered from the trauma of death. Feeding, changing, and stretching Lee’s long withered muscles were all in a day`s work for Chuck. Now, with Bruce Lee fully recovered to his former glory, Chuck has demanded a fight. Just between the two men, for the challenge and the glory of victory.

Breakdown:

Bruce Lee is the father of Martial Arts. He even invented his own fighting style, named Jeet Kune Do. Lee could perform exceptional physical feats such as grabbing grains of rice from mid-air with chopsticks, 50 one-armed chin-ups, and break boards six inches thick. Chuck Norris has grown in status to legendary heights as well. He retired from karate with a record of 183-10-2. He also champions the Bow Flex, a magical training system, and he fought a bear on an episode of Walker Texas Ranger. The final thing that Chuck draws his power from is the Chuck Norris facts, that people have discovered about him. As more people believe in his power, the stronger he becomes. Like the Bible.

Results:

With a look of sadness in his eyes, Bruce looked into Norris’ face and simply nodded his acceptance of the challenge.Norris walked in, throwing a heavy chop, but Bruce deftly avoided the blow, and struck Chuck in the face, sending him back a few steps with it’s surprising force. Shaking off the hit, Norris wandered in more cautiously, but Bruce went on the offensive, blasting away at his face and neck with precise attacks. Norris tried to scream, but his teeth, now powdered from a plethora of blows, coated the back of his throat like chalk dust.Bruce tore off a chunk of Chuck’s beard and dropped it to the ground, stomping on the follicles and grinding them under his foot like a cigarette.

Norris got to his feet like a drunk, and staggered toward the Jeet Kune Do master. Bruce flailed his limbs like whips, and brought them crashing down on Chuck, shattering his collarbones like fluorescent tubes. Bruce could see in Chuck’s eyes that he had defeated him. To make his understand that they could never, under any circumstances, fight again. Norris blinked out milky tears, capable of curing many diseases as Bruce ran up and performed a dropkick, kicking back Norris’ knees, hyper extending them to the point of explosion.Later that night Bruce finished sewing Chuck Norris back together, and promised him that he would take care of Chuck, as he had been cared for a few months prior.

Winner : Bruce Lee

So, what do you think? If you disagree, Then your either 1 of 2 things….Gay, or Racist.  Comment if you wish.

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